~ Tiring Week ~

Today is Friday, which means I don't have to work so tough. From last week onwards, I have been following my senior to go audit a supermarket cum hotel company. I was not given mot much work to do, but yet doing so slow like a snail. It made me so tired on such pace. I want to do it faster but there's always something blocking me from going forward.

It was last week, and fortunately I was not like the others being ambused, I was told to perform stocktake, one is on 30th and one is 1st of July. Before that, I almost forgot that I had to call clients before going over. But of course calling clients is not the first step. I made the code opened first and took the last year files for her to view and comment. For always, I'm always expecting something new from Miss Sung, my audit manager. She told me to do the sampling plan first to get the number of items to be checked. I hope I have done it right to reduce the chance of being reprimanded. For another job, I emailed my engagement forms to another manager for her to review. Luckily she noticed my email and checked it, if not it would naturally mean that I won't be able to charge my time cost into this job and by that time, I would be complained by my senior of trying to charge over cost over her job =(

Then the next challenge is calling clients one by one before the days I went stocktake. One of the clients, though like offended by my words, willing to pick me up and fetching me back to office, Thanks God. Even my senior also impressed on how I could convince them to provide transport. Hehehe.......Thanks God once again!! But another one, they didn't able to provide any transport but merely a bottle of water. hehe.....better than none =) This time, my time cost shows a little improvement because I didn't take so much time as in the past to do the stockcount. That's a Good one, I supposed. And next, at night I'm planning to go for the branch social as invited by Sister Wieland and Brother Choon Sun. Then, after coming back home later, I will have to prepare my lesson on Sunday for the youth and also practice my fingers a bit for the piano lesson. Then, Saturday, I got to follow my sister to the island for the fishing activity, otherwise she will not join it. Wow, and the last is prepare a bit on my jobs for the next week, maybe to reduce some time cost and improve the efficiency? Just don't know......My eyes can hardly sustain......God, please help as I'm planning to improve more, I'm planning to give tithing also ~

Paper, Manager, Client, Family War

It's a matter of fighting, not really physically but involves a great deal of mental war. It's a tiny pay and yet it is so challenging. Our minds have to be especially clear on what we are doing at all the time. That's the work of an auditor! It's a curse and I learnt this word from University course, the Greyhound and this is a very sensitive dog. Its sensing power is so great that even a very tiny bag of drugs can be detected. And obviously we are equated to Greyhound by the people in surrounding us. For very small mistake, it could have snowball effect that will bring to a great adverse effect!! Thus, the blame is always on our wrongdoing, our poor focusing power and what not. I feel relieved when in a day client won't call me, manager won't chase after my files and partner won't tell me anything which is not nice.

Reaching home, I got to face a gloomy and evil face of my sister. She has turned into a cold lady, even colder than the winter time in Moscow, it's more than negative 500 degree celsius!! She's almost as bloodless as a dracula!! Everything that we talked to her were either not reponded or replied with a rude way of speaking. This is already a different character in her, just like Mr. Hyde!! I knew in myself, or assumed to know something that she has fallen in love with one guy which is hard to reach? I myself actually knew this much earlier on but kept quiet as ehm ehm....I myself do like him too but think that our relationship is hard to be defined as I think that he doesn't like me as his lover? Very complicated mind. I need to put my thought at rest. It has been a great struggling going on in  my mind all these while. I've turned old because of this!! I think this might be the first time I have such kinds of feeling......He has always tried to treat me just like his own sister and is that exceeding the border if I had that kinds of special feeling on him? Am I too evil to think about this? Or better just let it bygone be bygone.....as written by famous writer william Shakespear.

All these things have blended together to form my great stress. I'm not even doing on a big job, why can't I do them better, so that these group of people are impressed with my performance? From primary school onwards, I had been nominated as a model student. There's no way teachers and principal could find out my deficiency. Somehow and not expected, my life now at work is totally the other way round! I was totally blown off! The only simplest way I could relieve myself is to attach myself to my most beloved. He is readily available for me to sooth my temper and down feeling, except if the line tangled on his neck! Haha.....so, I'm so proud to be a pretty classical lady =)

Today is already Friday. So, I won't expect myself to be able to write anything not until next Monday. And Firday means I will have to prepare my sunday school class. I haven't checked what topic I'm going to teach but will try my best to improve by each lesson being delivered. Hopefully it is helping me to work towards a better me and to be ready of any challenge in the future, of course including mission that I'm planning now =)

Chinese Orchestra Night

This is really a wonderful coincidence! Uncle Tiong, my dad's best friend bought four guests of honour tickets and were ready to watch it. I was not so sure whether he had been so sincere to watch it or not as most of the people would feel bored about. Anyway, he thought everything would turn out as planned, at least from his conversation with his naughty boy.

Then, it's the long school holiday that lasts for two weeks. They then changed their mind out of sudden to cancel their initial plan of watching the concert and went back home in Semporna! Uncle Tiong then raised his invitation to us to have the tickets! What wonderful chance! of course we were so excited and went to that concert. They splitted our group to two-by-two, so we would have chance to watch both the days. The first day was held on 1st of June, 2011 and the second was 4th June, 2011 which was the day we heard from Kevin that he would be transferred to Sibu right after he went to Singapore for visa run =( Anway, it went like this: parents went to the first session and children went to the second session. So it would be equal chance but not really the same as the first session, not the entire Sabah Ochestra Clubs were playing, so it sounded like the second was the most grand concert.

They have played lots of musics and most of them originated from Mainland and Taiwan. Of course, if the independent schools don't apple polish the governement, it would naturally show that they are going against them. Well, I don't have comment on this!

The most important point I was there because I do love chinese orchestra musics and have always dreamed to be one of them but because of my brother, I didn't join =( It was a miss that I didn't bring along the camera! What a MISSSSS! Anyway, I found out that Malaysian Chinese still have hope to cultivate their traditions here. But for me, probably I've been suppressed for toooo looonnnggg, I would chooce to leave this place and start all over in other places.

Particularly, I'm happy to learn how to sing this Kadazan's traditional harvest folk song. The following is the lyric that I want to remember:

Pak pak kang kudo
Sumunsui dot jambatan
Jambatan dot tamparuli
Pakasut tinggi oku

Silakan nodi kasutku
Naratu lod jambatan
Tinggal po dot sutakin
Nowitku ginumuli

Ontok do hari tiga
Tomu lod tamparuli
Mingusuk po hilod kadai
Mogihum dot kasut tinggi

I wish this song will be remembered and the language will not disappear as I know that this kinds of language is endangered because they have replaced their mother toungue with malay!! This is very sad!! And I hope that somedays later people will do some significant studies to make sure this language will be protected against the adverse deprivation effect created by people and environment!

Once again

When I was feeling down with all these things, works and reprimands, I was listening to this piece of familiar music. It's a violin play. For certain, it was once played by a Hollander, Willem Kampenhout. I was so obssessed of this piece of music and suddenly all these to be dumped feelings washed away!

Then, I recalled how he played, though not perfect because most of the parts were forgotten I really enjoyed listening and eventhough it's short. This piece of play has rooted in my heart. Sweet, romance, a little pathetique are the words to describe this piece. Sadly to say that I don't know the name of this play but someone plays for me once again, I'll recall that I've listened not only once.

Talking about listening to classical musics, I'm always the loyal fans, no matter what. When I feel down, I like to listen to them to sooth my emotion. When I feel happy, I love to listen to Allegro type. When I feel something to present my romance, it's classical musics again. Probably, there's no one genre that could replace it's utmost position in my heart! But there's one genre that I love too, it's new age type, especially composed by Yanni and Kitaro. I pray that these type of musics will overtake the rest of the musics and songs ! ^^

He left......

These days, I've been used to have him around in life. But, now, he's gone, I understood that because it must be a day for him to leave, as he has a special and important task to be accomplished. I wish he knows how I feel. The day just went blue, so as my heart, freezed for a while and came back alive.

I can't really tell what kind of feeling is this. Mom first time saw me having a hug with a male and she said I've improved and it seems I'm a lesbian!! My gosh!! I still remembered I really enjoyed somebody gave me something to eat and treated me so nicely, and sat so close to me. This is a "her"! Her name is Charlyn, if I have spelled this right. She used to treat me just like husband giving love to wife. I don't know even till now, whether she treated me as her wife or husband. But for sure, she's a lesbian as she gave me text messages every night without fail and suddenly she messaged me how I felt about her and she was disappointed that I only treated her like ordinary friend! From that day onwards, she never called me or messaged me anymore.....erm......She's nice if only she's normal! Then, after that there was a boy kept IM me every night, and I just knew that he has some special feeling on me but maybe the way I responded to him gave him a little hope but then dimmed out, so we didn't make that relationship further. Then, afterwards, came another guy again and this loves to drink liquor so much. He's arrogant, proud, not gentle but exceptional for me. I knew, from his words, he really wanted to further the relationship but because I don't like him, thus this was eliminated also! It's kinda cruel but I think it would be fair for both of us, at least not a long grief. So, essentially, I can be described as lone ranger all these while......

Then, came this one, which is exceptionally sweet, but I think most of the people of their kinds are nice and gentle. He was brave enough to accept challenge. Probably this has become part of his adventurous life. If I were him, I wouldn't have done that, perhaps, just to avoid any problem to be born. But I certainly like this kind of attitude. It's a Man's attitude. Compared me, I would have been avoiding any conversation with someone who's in great anger!

However, I could only, for the time being, have his image saved in laptop and in brain. My brain has been storing all kinds of things but I will sort out those which worth to be stored. Will I meet him again? I think yes, but it's going to be a riddle in my life! Let's wait and see!

Translation Day

My task lasted more or less 2 hours. I always love to be a volunteer but only if I could. Yesterday, the couple of my branch, President and Sister Wieland invited me to help them translate their messages and teachings into Malay and Cantonese. I was once a translator for university news. That time was actually a semester break and almost everyone was going back to hometown to have a getaway. My brother and I were coming back home also after a week long exam but as earlier on the air tickets that we bought did not coincidentally correspond to the schedule of our break, hence we got to wait for about more or less two weeks. Instead of wasting time staying at my house, I decided to ask for a temporary job in my area. Then, out of sudden, there was a vacancy for the data entry, so to speak. I went to apply for it and immediately, they arranged me for quick interview and tasks to do. Of course, may be I hadn't worked before, instead of compliment I had, it was the way round, complaintssss.......but that's fine with me, because I just planned to work there until the day before the flight.

All in all, those works were mainly related to editing and posting of university news, that's all. Anyway, I really love to translate, because we can find enjoyment from within! It sometimes calls for skills to interpret the message that someone else hopes to relate. That's the most enjoyable part, I supposed. Pres & Sis Wieland, and the rest of the missionarries are always so warm. They don't care how the places like for their visiting destinations. This is the biggest problem as I was dragged in also to do the translation. There are lots of our branch members are illegal immigrants, that is a constant trouble to our church because they have been degrading our reputation because they do not have legal documents to walk around. Not very long before, one of the local missionarries was caught by the authority and I cried over this matter once. It's sad but what can I do for him? The family we went visit teaching was another illegal family. The husband is a chinese, but is obviously not literated enough and his wife is a Phillipino, together with them are 6 to 7 children and the wife's mother. It's a very broken, old wooden house that was erected above the sea shore next to the other wooden houses to form a big village. That place, because was dwelled by illegal immigrants, was called also squarters area. I was not surprised that the place we were heading was this area but the dark pathway which was made up of shaky wooden planks was quite scarry, even a slendor size was I also got to be very careful on every step. Sis Wieland was amazing as she walked very fast without having to worry a lot! Her husband was not even a rival to her!

We reached there and I was like being punched on the head until the stars coming out of my sight after a long walk (it was not a long path either, but may be it's a bit scarry). We went in and the head of the family was there but was taking nap and we apparently woke him up to talk about gospel and to teach how to pray. I think every member before joining the church must have all the prequisite done before getting baptised but probably the rules and have been loosen nowadays......sad part of it. However, the children were so happy and sang a few hymns.

After that, we went to another member's house and found that the mother was busy sewing there. She was quite tough on her stand not to do any reading as Sis Wieland suggested for only a few lines. Of course not to frustrate her, we ended up just making a closing prayer and chucked off.

Anyway, anyway, anyway, I love to translate!

Spiritual Belief

From many resources I collected, heared, saw and even touched, I do know that the world has changed tremendously, from its preliminary face until now. I do sometimes wonder if this talk about revolution did exist. But I am so sure, from my personal experience, man does come out from the mother's womb, live, grows, becoming old and dies. I had neither a chance to attend my grandpa's funeral, nor my grandma's funeral too. I did not attend my grandpa's because I was too small to witness the entire process (said my mother) and I was not supposed to attend my grandma's because our Chinese horoscopes are the same. Of course, for a typical Chinese like me, I did follow exactly what was instructed lest this will bring bad lucks to myself, to the dead and to the family. A lot of time, it sounds so stupid to blindly follow this culture but for harmony, I compromise.

Next, talking about baptism, it is so much related to personal feeling to the belief we hold. If we believe, we definitely won't regret to be baptised to the church where we are associated to. But how if we, after baptism, do not follow exactly what the teachings and covenants we made during the baptism? Of course, all that we know, there is always exception to the general rules. But how if this is directly the relationship between Heavenly Father and ourselves? I personally believe because we do believe Father does exist, so as his teachings, I am definitely grateful for that, even proud of. But because lots of time, we live just because somebody needs us to, we do somethings just because somebody told us to, we follow this and that just because somebody hopes us to......It is certainly almost incredible to change this somebody's thoughts but to compromise hoping that this peaceful and harmonious state does continue. Although I am not from the Royal family like Prince William and Prince Harry, but I always find that my status quo always exists and I could hardly find room for further development.

Well, we can say "Time" can change everything, from bad to good, but there is alaways Plus and Minus as my dad always say. Weather would not stay fine for 365 days, so does the human's mood. Finally, this happened to my sister. She's the only one left in our family yet to be baptised, but because we do attend church activities, she's apparently one of the members. Can anybody kindly tell me, is baptism involve any worldly things, especially status in the society? spiritual escape? or even skin colours? Father does not differentiate human based on skin colours, but the humans do. I can tell that this somebody must be so confident in herself that she thought whatever done by her is always correct but I do know she has made a mistake. I do respect her but I do protest. But what I could do is only to constantly provide admonition to her. Sadly to say that most of the things I have said are not accepted, becaused this somebody has been so self-centred. Anyway, anyway, anyway, I will pray that Father will always pick us up from the drain.

Spritual belief can be compared to Harry Potter's story. Whoever acts evilly will be punished, even if this involves endless sacrifices. Sometimes, what we see is not what we are perceived. There are lots and lots of possibility. What we could do at the otherside is to guess and guess and guess, until it might turn out to be a useless piece of findings. What we could learn from is the process, the experience from it.